After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize