Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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