don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
