I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
