Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
