dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
