i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
