The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize