Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Panties = found
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