I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
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It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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