i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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