I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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