Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
