You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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