she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
