stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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