Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
