new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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