brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
