So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
