I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
