the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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