Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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