So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize