my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
