I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
