She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
