Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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