Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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