I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
