He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
