you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
