I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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