Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
