Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
