Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
