I have demons in me.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
