This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
