ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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