I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
