Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This house was built for laser tag.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
