don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
