At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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