Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
