I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
