Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
