i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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