We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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