he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
