Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So. Much. Porn.
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