Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
