Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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