Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
