Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
