when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
