on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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