College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
