who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
