dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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