She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
