i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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