the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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