omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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