I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You can't special order awesome
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
