i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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